walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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