So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize