Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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