I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
