I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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