he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
