whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
the condom got lost in my hair
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
