Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
