One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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