so that wasnt chicken after all
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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