Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize