Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
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