:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
