Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
