gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
