What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
