Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
When did angry sex become our thing?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize