Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
