Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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