How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
