i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Randomize
