What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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