that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
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