oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
