you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
