So drunk its hurt
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize