It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
