When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
