Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
