sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
