Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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