Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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