hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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