So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
home. puking in laundry basket.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
