Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
high people should be assigned attendants
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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