So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize