thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
