5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
