I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
You smell like stripper and shame
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
