i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Ketchup is God's man juice
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
