Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
