I seem to have left my pride at pride
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
