Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
