Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize