office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Never let your siblings swipe right.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
