i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
