I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize