i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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