Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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