this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
