Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just cut my nipple shaving
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
