i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
