let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
