I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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