the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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