I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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