"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
You ate ashes out of my bong
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
