i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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