where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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