You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
