Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize