I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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