Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Randomize
