I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
