hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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