is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
