just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You had me at "let me see your balls"
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize