Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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