I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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