the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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