I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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