i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
