I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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