I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
