Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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