Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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